‘Tis the season…
to survey (and contemplate cleaning up) all the mess generated by holiday festivities,
to think about getting back to healthier habits (thanks to the holiday festivities),
to remind the kids to be grateful for all the gifts they have received,
to survey (and contemplate cleaning up) all the mess generated by holiday festivities,
to think about getting back to healthier habits (thanks to the holiday festivities),
to remind the kids to be grateful for all the gifts they have received,
and in reality…
to give up on all chores and resolutions and instead binge on Netflix while the kids fight over their gifts.
to give up on all chores and resolutions and instead binge on Netflix while the kids fight over their gifts.
According to Target, tis the season to prepare for
Valentine’s Day and Easter. As I write this, we are still in Christmastide (following the church calendar), but when I went to the
store two days after Christmas in search of a good deal on a tree for next
year, the Christmas merchandise had been wiped clean with just a single aisle
of reduced price wrapping paper and two shopping carts full of assorted
goods. In the place where the trees once
stood were racks of candy for Valentine’s Day and Easter.
We are nothing if not forward-looking (at
least when it comes to consumerism).
I don’t want to rush to February 14th, though,
and overlook the New Year’s holiday as I always appreciate the chance for
introspection and reflection. The
problem comes, though, when I’m quick to remember all the negative things and
forget about all the good.
I’m a
recovering perfectionist, and the visions of how things “should” be play on an
endless loop in my mind. Advent and
Christmas are the “perfect” times for me to confront my obsessive tendencies
with how things “ought” to be, but I usually pursue my unrealistic
expectations, which more often than not, end in bitterness and
disappointment.
And I wonder why my kids
can’t learn to be more grateful.
I preached about grace this Sunday as I tend to speak on
what I most need to hear. In case I
wasn’t getting the message, an unfortunate series of events on Saturday night resulted
in my computer’s blue screen of death, losing all of my files (including my
sermon), and the complete removal of Microsoft Word.
It was tragic, and yet also a lesson in what
is not within my control. I went back to
my text and felt anew the hope of John chapter one:
“In the beginning was
the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the
beginning with God. All things came into being through him, and without
him not one thing came into being. What has come into being in him was
life, and the life was the light of all people. The light shines in
the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it.” (vv. 1-5)
It is both humbling and a relief that God is the Word. It is not my words that make a difference,
but I have the privilege to point to the Word, the Logos. Just as John was a witness to the light, my
job is to testify to what I have seen and received. That takes me to my favorite line:
“From his fullness we
have all received, grace upon grace.” (v. 16)
Grace. I can’t think
of anything I need more in my life.
My
head is full of the deafening noise of judgments, rules, and guilt about what I
could have done better as a person, mom, and minister. And God whispers into the chaos,
“Grace”.
And not just simple grace, but an
abundance--grace upon grace. Surely I have fully received that again and
again, and this gift of God is a promise that I can count on receiving forever.
I want to share it in my ministry, my
speaking, and my writing. I long to show
it more to my family: to my aging mother and grandmother, to my devoted
husband, and to the two kids that demand it the most (and yet share it freely
with me).
But first I must receive grace
myself. As I accept my failures and am
still able to see myself as God’s beloved, may I be less critical and
judgmental with those I love.
May 2016
be the year of grace and graciousness for all of us.
