Today was a big day for my baby girl. Recently, while playing with her hair, I realize that it may be long enough to put up. I mentioned to her that maybe she could have a ponytail. She was instantly excited, although I don't know how she knew what it even was. She wanted one then, but I told her I had to get ponytail holders first, and she has been reminding me regularly since. I had a little time this morning as I was going in to work late in order to be able to drop her off at preschool. I was amazed that she stood still for me with very little complaining (just a soft, "ouch, ouch, ouch" under her breath). Yet I was nervous. I'm not one for styling hair (thus mine looks the same everyday) and hers is fine and soft. It took me back to the battles my mom and I had over my hair, which led to many tearful mornings of tangled hair and hot rollers (thus my short and straight hair since college). But when I looked at the finished product on Maryn, I felt a little teary. It's amazing how such a simple change could make her seem so grown up. She looked older, and was so proud. She even went into her preschool class without a fight or tears as she was looking forward to showing it off.
I remember crying when I found out that Brady was a boy because I worried that I didn't know anything about boys. When I found out Maryn's gender, I cried because how would I know how to take care of a girl after becoming so familiar with a boy? And now, I am still learning how to be a mother to both. I worry more about her, knowing the struggles that girls face as they get older. I worry about how our relationship will change as I reflect on my journey with my mom. But for now, I savor this sweet, fierce girl who speaks her mind, stands her ground, and loves her mommy and ponytails.
so sweet.
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