Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Maryn's first ponytail

Today was a big day for my baby girl.  Recently, while playing with her hair, I realize that it may be long enough to put up.  I mentioned to her that maybe she could have a ponytail.  She was instantly excited, although I don't know how she knew what it even was.  She wanted one then, but I told her I had to get ponytail holders first, and she has been reminding me regularly since.  I had a little time this morning as I was going in to work late in order to be able to drop her off at preschool.  I was amazed that she stood still for me with very little complaining (just a soft, "ouch, ouch, ouch" under her breath).  Yet I was nervous.  I'm not one for styling hair (thus mine looks the same everyday) and hers is fine and soft.  It took me back to the battles my mom and I had over my hair, which led to many tearful mornings of tangled hair and hot rollers (thus my short and straight hair since college).  But when I looked at the finished product on Maryn, I felt a little teary.  It's amazing how such a simple change could make her seem so grown up.  She looked older, and was so proud.  She even went into her preschool class without a fight or tears as she was looking forward to showing it off.

I remember crying when I found out that Brady was a boy because I worried that I didn't know anything about boys.  When I found out Maryn's gender, I cried because how would I know how to take care of a girl after becoming so familiar with a boy?  And now, I am still learning how to be a mother to both.  I worry more about her, knowing the struggles that girls face as they get older.  I worry about how our relationship will change as I reflect on my journey with my mom.  But for now, I savor this sweet, fierce girl who speaks her mind, stands her ground, and loves her mommy and ponytails.

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