As a newbie iPhone owner, I've been playing around with an endless array of apps. I'm drawn to the photography ones as I've always loved both the art and nostalgia of photos. Many of the photography apps allow you to choose from various filters that change the mood of your photographs. You can go for a retro feel with Polaroid style shots or vintage with sepia or black and white. I spend a lot of time browsing blogs and Facebook pages full of these moments captured with a timeless touch. I am often envious of these perfect moments, a slice of beauty preserved.
But don't we all use filters? At work, my co-workers and I joke about days when we don't have our filters turned on and say what we shouldn't (usually, the way we're really feeling without toning it down to the banality we usually employ). I filter some of my experiences and thoughts when I post in order to filter it through the perspective (persona?) I wish to portray.
I've had comments and laughs over my delight in capturing my kids' meltdowns (and posting them for all the world to see). While I like to capture moments of perfection (the infrequent culinary creation or a rare and lovely portrait shot), I'm realizing that these are not my true reality. These perfectly framed shots are what set me up for disappointment a lot of the time when I expect them to happen more often than they do. Instead, I'm trying to learn to use my own filters to see the allure in those moments when it falls apart, when the artsy facade crumbles and we discover the truth that we're all a little broken. I want to filter out my judgment and discouragement at the failures and see the delight in a world I don't have to embellish, or spin, or work to make it something it's not. Life is beautiful, even in the dark, ugly places. There is life and beauty inside of me.