Saturday, June 1, 2013


He's been a part of my life for 13 years now, 11 of them as my husband, and I can't remember who I was before him.  The number seems small in relation to the impact he's had on my life.  He has been such an affirming, supportive presence that has encouraged me to grow into who I am now, and who we are together.  We can joke around with the line, "You complete me," but there's a truth in it that's different from the sappy idea that we were not whole before.  Instead, I've learned that our completeness as a couple comes from challenging each other to be our best selves, and ultimately accepting the reality of who we are.  I am most at home in myself with him, as he sees me, faults and all, and embraces me.  With him, I can put away the masks, let down my defenses, and be completely broken, healed, vulnerable, strong, beloved.

I give him most of the credit for the seamless flow of our lives.  It is his sense of humor, his strength that carries us through the day to day monotony into the moments of joy.  He is my partner, my rock, and my best friend, and I find my greatest sense of pride in that he sees me in the same ways.

We've been through richer and poorer, and sickness and health, and have learned that our bond is not based on our circumstances, but instead, that our love can transform them.

Today, we'll likely spend our anniversary referring the same fights between the kids, eating out at a family-friendly establishment, working (as at least one of us has done for nearly every anniversary), and sighing over how every day is the same.  But we'll say it with a smile, because we wouldn't want it any other way.

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