Just another day in "paradise"

The anticipation of Christmas is over.  The wrapping paper mess has been trashed, and the toys are either strewn about the house in various stages of play or abandoned with disinterest.  The tree is still up, but we spend less time laying around looking up at the lights and remembering the meaning and memories of the ornaments.  We've survived lots of travel and family get-togethers.  We long for rest, but instead spend our days breaking up the inevitable fights and making those dreaded Rainbow Loom bracelets (let's face it, no matter how well you make them, they are still ugly rubber band junk).  A long week lies between us and the return of our regular schedules.  They call it "winter break", but those with children understand that there is no real break for the parents.  I've found myself muttering the question, "Jesus was born for this?" a couple of times.

I'm grateful, though, that each year gets a little easier in some ways.  Though each stage and phase has its challenges (and boy, we're having some big ones right now), I'm glad that our kids can tell us what they want and need, and they still are young enough to be drawn into the wonder and joy of the season.  We keep things simple as it's such a busy time, and as a minister, my schedule is pretty hectic.  The gifts are limited (at least at our house), and our traditions include making cookies, filling a shoebox with Christmas gifts for another child, driving around to see the Christmas lights (eating McDonald's food afterward...the kids' favorite part), and participating in our church's Christmas Eve service.  This year we planned well, taking the kids out of school for a week as my crazy semester ended, and went on a week-long Disney Cruise.  It was our second one, and we learned on our previous one two years ago that it's the ideal vacation for us.  It's hard for me to slow down and get in vacation mode, and our kids aren't the best travelers as they demand lots of attention.  Most trips end up being exhausting and frustrating for John and me.  But thanks to Disney's attention to detail and their great children's activities, we were all able to enjoy some fun and rest.

Lest you think it was perfect, however, I have evidence that you can change your surroundings without changing your reality:

Meltdown in the Bahamas (trip 1)

Crying over her cupcakes (trip 2)

Apparently, it's hard to be 5...even on a cruise ship.  My initial response to their meltdowns was anger.  We have spent two years and lots of money preparing for this dream trip, only to have ungrateful responses from our children.  And yet, as I reflect upon it, I often fall into the trap of magical thinking.  Throughout my life, I've often thought, "If only __________ would happen, then I would be happy."  The circumstances have changed (finishing school, getting married, finding a job, having kids), and yet the perfect happiness I imagined never lingered.  There was always a new set of obstacles and a new goal to reach.  I have a picture in my head of how things should be, and instead of being grateful for the way they are, I still compare them to the picture and find what is lacking.  It's no different here at home or on a cruise. While Disney is in the business of creating magical experiences, they can't create miracles.  We will all get tired, hungry, and grumpy and resort to our default behaviors (for me, apparently it's anger when I feel disappointed).

While I become frustrated with my kids' reactions, I see my own childishness reflected back at me.  As much as I harp on gratitude with them, my responses do not teach them the value of contentment.  As I push them to tears on my quest for the perfect family photo, I'm trying to create a false image instead of appreciating the beautiful (and messy) reality in front of me.  I guess that's why I hang onto these meltdown photos (although my kids will hate me for it one day).  On the bad days, they remind me that we've been there before, and on the good days, I can laugh and celebrate how we've made it through (for the time being).  The secret to happiness, I'm finding, is realizing that it is not outside of you (in a certain place, activity, or relationship), but having the eyes to see the beauty in what is right in front of you (and not the picture in your head).  It reminds me of a country song I liked years ago because it spoke truth to our life:


                                        "Just Another Day In Paradise" by Phil Vassar

The kids screaming, phone ringing
Dog barking at the mailman bringing
That stack of bills - overdue
Good morning baby, how are you?
Got a half hour, quick shower
Take a drink of milk but the milk's gone sour
My funny face makes you laugh
Twist the top on and I put it back
There goes the washing machine
Baby, don't kick it.
I promise I'll fix it
Long about a million other things

Well, it's ok. It's so nice
It's just another day in paradise
Well, there's no place that
I'd rather be
Well, it's two hearts
And one dream
I wouldn't trade it for anything
And I ask the lord every night
For just another day in paradise

Friday, you're late
Guess we'll never make our dinner date
At the restaurant you start to cry
Baby, we'll just improvise
Well, plan B looks like
Dominoes' pizza in the candle light
Then we'll tippy toe to our room
Make a little love that's overdue
But somebody had a bad dream
Mama and daddy
Can me and my teddy
Come in to sleep in between?

Yeah it's ok. It's so nice.
It's just another day in paradise.
Well, there's no place that
I'd rather be
Well, it's two hearts
And one dream
I wouldn't trade it for anything
And I ask the lord every night
For just another day in paradise

Well, it's ok. It's so nice.
It's just another day in paradise.
Well, there's no place that
I'd rather be
Two hearts
And one dream
I wouldn't trade it for anything
And I ask the lord every night
For just another day in paradise

For just another day in paradise
Well, it's the kids screaming. The phone ringing
Just another day
Well, it's Friday. You're late
Oh yeah, it's just another day in paradise