Of the many words that could be used to describe me,
“graceful” would not be at the top of the list.
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the most common
usage is a way of moving or behaving that
is controlled, smooth, and attractive.
This is not my gift. I have often
bemoaned the fact that I didn’t take dance lessons as a child, which surely is
to blame for my clumsiness and poor posture.
But perhaps it’s innate as years of (somewhat sporadic) yoga practice
and chiropractic visits have not remedied the problem.
I’m also not so good at showing grace (in terms of offering
mercy) in my family life. I’m quick to
judge and find fault and can hold on to a small slight for years (just ask my
husband). It is difficult for me to
accept things as they are in reality when I have already envisioned how it
“should” be in my head. I’ve held on to
scars from spiritual hurts as well. There’s
the church were we worshipped for some time whose tagline “a place of grace”
makes me cringe. I’m still healing from
some of the wounds that were inflicted there.
But grace keeps inserting itself into my life. First it was a friend, a spiritual sister
from Jamaica, who I met last summer in my D.Min. cohort. Grace is not her given name, but is the
perfect chosen name for one who is so full of spirit, and so full of God’s hope. Her words and the way she carries herself are
such pictures of God’s favor. She is a
reminder to me to trust in God to be my strength and salvation.
Then there’s the new “member” of our family, an American
Girl doll named Grace Thomas, who reminds me of how my daughter is learning
this virtue of grace as she navigates her way through relationships and
becoming who she was created to be.
While I see dollar signs and more clutter when I look at this Grace, the
doll is a companion that my Maryn favors, one that enlivens her imagination and
allows her to dream about who she will be.
Maryn loves nothing more than when we are drawing pictures of Grace
Thomas together, or creating recipes like the ones that Grace would make in her
bakery (sold separately, $500). Styling
the doll’s hair gives us time to sit together and just be, to talk about
whatever is on our minds. That is a
grace that I don’t indulge as often as I would like.
Read more of this post at the A Divine Duet: Ministry and Motherhood blog....
