I failed this morning. I rolled into work late after juggling with John the seemingly endless tasks of getting the kids ready to roll to preschool. I thought I was prepared the night before--I had packed Brady's healthy snack for fruit break (careful to avoid nuts and processed foods for his healthy allergy-sensitive class) and Maryn's lunch (heavy on the processed food Lunchable that she picked out at the grocery store, and therefore knew she'd eat as she's had a cold and has been eating less). I made granola (slightly burned but still tasty) for our breakfast, cleaned up, and did laundry so the kids would have clean, mulch and sand-free clothes. This morning, after breakfast struggles, brushed teeth, dressing, cleaning, packing bags, potty time, and an activity to tide over the whining, they were finally off in the car. I cleaned up (again), started a crockpot meal for lunch, checked email, talked to a friend, and finally made it in to work. My cell rang immediately, and it was Brady's preschool teacher. Apparently, I had mixed up the lunchboxes, leaving Brady with the highly coveted (yet not allowed) Lunchable, and poor Maryn with a measly pear for lunch (which wasn't even cut up). So I had to go switch out lunchboxes, rushing to make it before Maryn's 10:30 lunch slot (yes, really).
So my first thought was not how much I had accomplished, of course, but what a failure I was. I can (kind of) laugh about it now, but I've felt that this preschool is kind of out of our league in some ways, and to send in a Lunchable kind of feels like the unforgiveable sin. Now they KNOW we sometimes allow our children to eat bad processed foods (the horror!) And poor Brady, stuck with a Lunchable he wanted to eat, but couldn't, and a container of flavored applesauce that he had already told me he didn't like, must of thought he was being punished for something he hadn't even done. I know it's ridculous, but it just goes to show the kind of pressure I (needlessly) place on myself.
The up side is that I unexpectedly got to see both my sweet babies at preschool today. I snuck a peek at Brady playing with friends outside at the sand and water table (after leaving a back-up snack with his teacher), and I surprised Maryn by staying for lunch (brunch??) with her. I'm sure Brady will have questions for me later about why I sent him the wrong lunch, but it will be a good lesson for both of us that Mommy makes mistakes...and that's okay. I don't need to be perfect, just as I don't expect him to be.
I just read an article about the value of failure and how we learn more from our mistakes than our successes. So I guess I'm just learning. Maybe I'll learn how to be a little easier on myself.
As a reminder to myself, I'll post a picture of my sweet girl for whom (at least most of the time and particularly at the moment) I can do no wrong: