Sunday, October 3, 2010

The light at the end of the tunnel

Recently, I've been trying to improve my photography. The more I read and practice, the more I learn that it's all about light. A photograph is produced when light strikes a light-sensitive surface (usually within a camera). The word "photography" from the Greek means "drawing with light". A good picture, in large part, is about controlling how much light you let in.

I can draw parallels with my own life as well. I spent the better (worse) part of the past year in darkness, in a bit of a depression that was mostly irrational. I knew how wonderful my life was and how blessed I was by my devoted husband, sweet children, and by all the fixings that contribute to my stability and well-being (house, financial security, job, friends, etc). And yet I couldn't seem to rise above a sense of gloom. I was perenially tired and cranky, and was more apt to see the few negatives instead of the bazillion positives. I couldn't talk much about it (other than to my husband) as I knew I had no right to feel so down. I'm not sure how many people outside of my immediate family even realized it as I tried to carry on as normal. But whether it be biological, genetic, chemical, hormonal (likely), or a by-product of exhaustion (absolutely), I felt it nonetheless.

I can only talk about it now as I feel the heavy dark cloud lifting. I find myself playing more and complaining less. I can see and feel the light that surrounds me, and hopefully reflect a little of that back. One of my favorite scriptures is John 1:5--"A light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not understood it." (NIV) Another version (NRSV) translates it as "A light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it." I like both. The light of Christ can shine through us (if we allow it) and the darkness of this world, our hearts, and our minds cannot understand it or overcome it. The light wins out. Praise be to Christ, the light of our lives. May I continue to learn to share this Christ light with others.

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